All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughin' with you...

I realized just how much I want to get over this stupid, unhealthy crush I have on Chris Glick.

I would rather assume that he is gay than know that he's just not interested. If I imagine him to be gay, it makes it much easier to get over him. Hey, I might even be right, but I don't want him to be gay.

I haven't felt like this about any man since...Kyle. That was a long time ago. A really pitiful time. He had a wife. That situation is an example of wanting something I could not have.

I'm obviously never going to do anything about it. I just can't seem to get past it. I honestly thought that if I found a distraction, it would help me get over him. I thought Noah would be that distraction. He just made me want him more.

I want to know him...

I want to talk to him...

I just want him...

When I'm having a crappy day, I want him to be the one to tell me it's going to be okay.

When I'm laughing, I want it to be because he's making me laugh.

I wish I knew why.

Oh well.

Time to go force myself to go to sleep.

First, I'm going to watch an episode of Criminal Minds. I love that show! I swear I watched over 12 episodes last weekend.

Goodnight!