Last week my aunt passed away from what started out as uterine cancer. She was 62. Over the years, I haven't been very close to my father's family. As an adult, I do take some blame, but I also blame my dad. There is no reason for my younger sisters to not really know our paternal side. As a father, he should have picked them up and took them over there. That's not my job. I have a lot of childhood memories of my Auntie Willie, but not that many adulthood memories.
Out of this tragedy, I have come to realize that life is too short. I always knew that, but I am now realizing just how short it is. I want to be married. I want kids.
I spent all these years wanting to date Chris Glick when it's possible that I let the right man slip away. It was obsessive and I am quite ashamed of myself over it. I didn't know this man. I built up this fantasy in my head that made me believe he was the one for me. If he had been, we would be together now. I believe in my heart that God has the right man for me. I will wait patiently for him to come into my life. Kids will come when they come. I just need to start living in the moment and stop complaining about what I don't have.
I still like Chris and the process to get over him hasn't been easy. We barely look at each other now which is pretty hard for me, but I know letting go of this infatuation is for the best.
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