Embarrassment

This has been the week I’ve been waiting for since May.

Unfortunately, it has been ruined by a guy who I was interested in and his co-workers. I can’t even go into the damn grocery store without having a panic attack. If I need something, I just send someone else in and wait in the car.

I screwed up. I really did. I have never regretted anything as much I regret posting that stupid “missed connection” on Craigslist. How can it be considered a “missed connection” if I was the only one who felt connected? He had no idea. That’s my fault. I can’t just go up to a guy who I’m attracted to and strike up a conversation. I can’t say anything.

I am so embarrassed. And hurt. I have put myself in his place and it is creepy, but that was not my intention at all. Everybody is saying, “Well, you wanted him to see it. If you didn’t want him to see it, you would not have posted it.” That’s only slightly true. When you post those stupid “missed connections”, you really don’t think the person you’re talking about is going to see it.

I didn't mean for my posting to be creepy. I am not creepy (and I don't think the posting was creepy). Just honest. I'm just really shy and didn't think he would ever even see the stupid ad. I only read them for shits and giggles. Who knew other people read them? What made him look in missed connections anyway? He was obviously hoping to find something. Most people secretly hope they do. Never have I regretted anything as much as I regret posting that missed connection. Since Chris found the stupid ad on Craigslist, I was going to post another one to apologize for the whole situation. Anyway, I'm sorry that I freaked him out. It wasn't my intention. I was just venting in a public forum which was a ridiculous idea. By now, I'm sure he is aware of who I am. That sucks even more.

Anyway, John Mayer did a live concert last night in NYC and it was incredible. His new album came out yesterday. Pick it up. He is amazing. Can’t wait to see him live in March!